I’m kind of a weirdo. If you’re reading this because you’ve read other things I’ve written, you probably knew that already. But today, I want to talk about one particular weirdness I have going on.
Confession: I love ghost hunting. Like, a lot. I’ve been to the Ohio State Reformatory in Mansfield four times. I’ve been on official hunts in local haunted places a handful of times, and kept my eyes open for anything that might be paranormal while hanging around said places for non-ghost hunting reasons. I’ve even been to a paranormal convention, and plan to attend another this spring. Oh yeah, and my sister and I took a vacation to New Orleans, specifically to do all the supernatural based historic tours (and to see alligators…but my love of scaly, squirmy, slithery creatures will have to be the subject of another blog).
Now, I assume if you’re here, it’s for one of two reasons. Either you’re family and feel like you have to read this, or you’re into spooky things too. So why, surrounded by fellow spooks, do I think ghost hunting makes me weird? It’s because even among the strange and unusual; the horror writers, the scream queens, the readers and watchers of all things creepy—most people don’t actively seek out the paranormal.
There are plenty of completely logical reasons for this. Some simply see scary things as a form of entertainment, an adrenaline rush. They don’t, even for a moment, believe any of it is real. If they’re right, then wandering around in the dark talking to nothing would be pretty ridiculous. Then we have the opposite extreme; people who are 100% sure there are supernatural creatures lurking in the dark, just waiting for the right moment to strike. Some of these folks will avoid everything even a little scary at all costs. But others consume all things creepy, not to get that nice safe buzz of adrenaline, but as a sort of research…from a safe distance. They want to be aware of every possibility so they have a fighting chance when the things come for them—and probably so they can say ‘told you so’ when zombies pull out your intestines.
Of course, there’s quite the range in between these extremes. There always is. Some people simply lean a bit one way or the other. But me? I’m as close to exactly in the middle as one can possibly get. I can’t say I fully believe that ghost (or other supernatural) sightings are real. But I’m not counting it out either. And unlike so many others in this position, I WANT to know the truth.
So, I hunt. Not like Sam and Dean. I don’t have a shotgun filled with rock salt, and I don’t carry weapons made of silver and iron. But I do have dowsing rods, an EMF detector, and a laser pointer that kind of makes a grid. And yeah, I’ve tried a couple spirit box apps on my phone, and I burn sage when I get home.
A lot of people think this is weird.
And that’s ok.
There’s nothing wrong with other people thinking you’re odd. There are so many people out there who believe they’ll only be happy if they fit in with a certain group. They do everything they can to look the way they ‘should’ and say the ‘right’ things. And more often than not, they succeed. They blend in to their chosen crowd.
But they never get to be happy.
They give up all the weird things they enjoy. They spend all their time pretending to like things the ‘cool kids’ like. But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that if you live your life like that, it’s nearly impossible to make real friends, to find people whom you can confide in.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trash talking the cool kids. But the fact is, when you turn yourself into something you’re not in order to fit in with the right people they’re not the right people for you. They might be good people. They might even be great people. But they don’t even know who you are. Not really. Because you never let them. You hid everything real about yourself to fit in. So even if they are great people, even if they want to be there for you, how can they? The person you’ve shown them isn’t really you. They don’t know what you need. They can’t.
So don’t do that.
We have the internet now. It’s fairly easy to find people who like the same things you do, or who, at the very least, will love you even if they think some of your hobbies are super weird. So do the strange things you like to do. Watch the strange things you want to watch. Read, write, paint, listen, and dance in all the strange ways and to all the strange things that make you happy.
You’ll find your people, and they’ll find you. Best of all, you’ll make the other weirdos happy, and you’ll give them a place where they fit in, where they feel safe. You’ll find each other. You’ll be the real you. You’ll find happiness.
Let’s start now, shall we? Leave a comment and tell me what weird things make you happy. Tell me what makes you who you are. 🙂
Veronica Leigh 